When your toe is numb...

A little bit ago, I was complaining to my husband that the top of my big toe was numb and I couldn't quite figure it out. I thought it must be that my feet got bigger as a post pregnant body starts to adjust to itself and my feet clearly must be hitting the top of the shoe. Sounds logical right? So, I went through my closet and tried on every pair of shoes while that baby took one of his notorious cat naps--that's right 15 minutes. (I don't have that many shoes any more--which involved my husband organizing my closet and a cubby for shoes which is really a whole different post.) And, no. The shoes were all fine. My feet didn't get wider or fatter or more swollen.

But hey, I'm not one to give up so easily and since the weather was nicer, I decided that I should just wear sandals that will allow the top of my toe to just breathe free. But this involved another level of difficulty (as simple decisions often do in woman's lives)--I needed a pedicure. I had just gone through the winter and spent three months as a new mom and my feet were showing the after effects. But anyone who's a new mom will tell you that a drive to the nail salon to get a pedicure is clearly out of the question--who has the time let alone the money? So, I did what I used to do when I was poor in college--GASP--I had a self pedicure. (Hey, in college it was either a carton of Ra men noodles or a pedicure--so food always won out.)

Now convinced that my new solution of sandals and quaffed toes would handle the numbness, I figured I was ready to conquer to world. But the damn numbness didn't go away--which just made me wonder if it was a symptom of something larger and was it really worth a trip to the doctor? What if it's a symptom that only House could diagnose and I would be going into cardiac arrest in just moments?

Well, last night I solved my mystery. It turns out, what when my dear Prince wails for his 4AM bottle and my half asleep butt starts running up the stairs after being down in the kitchen, I seem to have a great ability to slam said toe into the last step. You may wonder, why it actually took me weeks to figure that out. That's totally simple: I slept the night before, so I was a little bit more alert when I stubbed my toe on the step. On all other stubbings, the ow just resulted me actually waking up enough to remember what it was that I was doing. Besides, that's not even an ow when compared to child birth. Now, I can't guarantee you, that I won't be passed out stubbing my toe again tonight like the zombies all first time moms become, but at least I know what it is.

And this ladies and gentlemen, is what happens to women who simply don't sleep due to motherhood--numb toes and all.