Babies vs Dogs

I know not everyone wants to have children. And I applaud those people who know fair well they don’t want children and don’t have them. This is much better than the people who don’t want children, have them, and then burden the rest of society with their progeny although I’m sure self-help gurus and psychiatrists would disagree. Nonetheless, what about those folks that opt to have a dog instead of a child. You know, they sit around watching TV and say…

“Want to have a baby?”

“Um….nah. Why don’t we just get a dog?”

Now, I appreciate that dogs might be less expensive in the long run, I mean, you don’t really have to sent a dog to college. And perhaps feeding them is less expensive, although I hear vet bills can be a nightmare. But I thought I’d offer a pro-baby perspective for those folks that are still on the fence about owning a dog vs. having a baby.

I think the most compelling argument is that a baby will grow up one day and be an adult that will sign your senior-citizen self into an old age home. We are all going to get old. Wouldn’t it be better to have your own DNA decide which “home” is better for you? After all, you can determine how great you did as a parent depending on which home they select…the one with the view and the pool, or the one off the side of the highway, and no public transportation.

A baby will also hopefully grow up, get married and create other little babies. These are commonly referred to as grandchildren. And from what I’m told, grandchildren are the best. They’re all joy and no responsibility. After all, don’t you want to feel the satisfaction of articulating to your child how you hope when they have children they are tortured just like you were? Think about it.

And although I understand that you can teach a dog all sorts of tricks, I would say the same of children. You can teach them the “do your own laundry” trick and the “clean up the dishes” trick and my favorite, “vacuuming the house” trick. And I also understand that some genius dogs can predict weather situations or seizures and other medical conditions, but hey, your kid can turn on the TV and tell you the weather or call the ambulance. I’m still waiting for the dog that can dial 911 and give directions to your house, but maybe that’s out there somewhere.

Just some things to think about while debating the dog vs. baby situation. I think it’s an important one for each person to resolve on their own. Now if you want a baby AND a dog, well that’s a topic for another day.