Top 5 things not to say to a pregnant woman

Since the world population isn’t shrinking, I’d venture to guess that all of us will come across a pregnant woman in our lifetime. And, we will in all likelihood, engage in a conversation with said pregnant woman and ask some questions, that quite frankly, you probably shouldn’t ask. So on behalf off all the pregnant women on the planet, and those that may become pregnant, here are the top five things to not ask or say to a pregnant woman.

1. When are you due? /How many weeks are you? Here’s the thing, most pregnant woman have a rough idea of when they’re due, but they probably don’t want to share it with the world. So, until the day comes when women are required to hand out business cards with personal medical information like due dates, you probably want to avoid this question. Same goes with the “How many weeks are you?” question, because regardless of what the answer is, the response people give is idiotic. Like if you say, “I’m 8 weeks.” The response is typically, “Oh, you’re early.” Really? Early for what? Baseball? Are you implying that I’ll miscarry? What does the early comment mean? Are you keeping score for me? What do I have to meet a specific deadline for you? What do you care how many weeks I am? Are you building a chart? So….seriously, just don’t ask. If the pregnant person wants you to know, she’ll tell you.

2. What are you having, a boy or a girl? This question typically makes me laugh, because I was always tempted to say, “Yes” either that or “No, an alien.” Here’s the thing, if a pregnant person wants you to know the sex of the baby, they’ll tell you, typically in the same breath as, “I’m pregnant.” It goes something like this, “I’m pregnant and it’s a girl!”

3. Do you have any names for the baby yet? Names can be a very personal decision. Some folks like to name a baby after family; some follow a specific tradition; and some just wait to see the little person and then decide depending on what he or she looks like. Worst than asking, is commenting on the name and indicating your preference. Unless, you’re handed a sheet of paper and a pencil and asked to actually take a poll, be quiet. If the pregnant party wants your feedback on coming up with names, she’ll ask you.

4. What religion are you going to raise the baby? This is a personal pet peeve of mine. It is impolite to talk about religion. Unless you’re the father of the child, it’s none of your concern and profoundly inappropriate.

5. Do you want to know what happened to me when I was pregnant? I don’t know what it is about pregnancy that makes other woman feel they should share all the horrible things that happened to them when they were pregnant. This is when you usually hear about emergency c-sections, water breaking at inconvenient locations (like the supermarket aisle) and near death experiences. Please don’t subject the mother-to-be to any more anxiety. If you had a bad experience, please do keep it to yourself. No one wants to hear your stories.

So, I know the prospect of a baby is exciting, but do think before you start asking personal questions. Mostly, you should just say, “How exciting!” and then stifle. Pregnant people don’t go mute, so if they want to share information with you, they will. And you won’t have to ask.